Tweets to Remember ~ November 20, 2011

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
There is a friend of mine who just found out he is both gay and dyslexic. *bites lip* He si still in daniel.
9 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
Theres an event this weekend for people who are unable to ejaculate. They are asking people to please let them know if you can't cum.
9 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
We will not see another triple digit day again until next year on 12-12-12 Then after that no more! until the next century.
11 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
Most of us lived through the past dozen triple digits. Some never live to see them all. No one alive now will see the ones after 12-12-12
11 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
My mom said your not going to their birthday party since they didnt attend yours! I told her so I can skip ur funeral if u cant attend mine?
15 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
I suck at everything! I'm stupid! I can't do a damn thing! I like girls. I'm not gay! Oh. And I am fat.
19 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
Imagine if your mirror secretly took snapshots of you and posted it online.
19 Nov


Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
Sucking a cup up to your face and then panicking when it won't cum off.
19 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
If aliens landed on earth and demanded to see our leader our best chance of survival is to bring them to Lady Gaga.
19 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
I don't eat meat. Cause I'm a Veteranarian.
19 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
For 2012 I'm going to have every one think Justin Bieber fathered my child. But first things first. I need to meet with him backstage.
20 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
I got a DM asking can you cam? I had to sit there wondering if he spelled that right.
20 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
That awkward moment after hitting puberty and ask your mom Can I shave now? Then she looks at your face and says But you have no hair!
20 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
My friend says Jack and Bud can warp your mind especially on Saturday nights! ~ I told him it depends which jack your referring to.
20 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
I tried to tell them it wasnt the right size but they wouldnt listen. I tried to tell them it wouldnt fit but they said to shove it in hard!
20 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
Now I'm stuck with a small shoe for a big foot.
20 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
Damn. Some of my followers dont know how to spucking fell!
20 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
I'm told the best people are accidental. Nay! What does my mom know?
20 Nov

Auggie_Dauggie_ Auggie † Agus†in
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20 Nov